29 April 2007


I figured considering i posted the photos from Tranz-mission, i should tell you a little about it in relation to drugs of course. We started the night getting to know people in the queue where i did a little covert research for the blog, i was asking people where they were storing their drugs. There were police dogs and thorough drug checks e.g. searching. Now people who do drugs are well aware of these checks and get around them with ease, firstly they put them in their socks, their bras, pants etc. Secondly cigarette packets opened then filled with drugs and then made to look like they've never been opened by putting the plastic back on. Thirdly your wallet often has little pockets that go unsearched etc. only the stupid or the newbeys to the scene get caught.
Once in i met several people on drugs, one man came up to me asking me for some biscuits (pills) he was clearly having the time of h is life with his eyes rolling back and the fingers were wiggling. He was alone and once i told him i didn't have any pills my boyfriend came over and the man lent over to him and said 'Ive known your girlfriend for years, she talks about you all the time.' I spoke to a 17 year old girl in the toilets who was telling me how this would be her last piss of the night, as pills stop you needing to go. What must be noted here is that this is how the body is drowned, your raving and drinking copius amounts of water and you cant go to the toilet, which isn't fun.
Anyway Tranz-mission was immense, as raves always are and im embarking on another on the 26th.

30 March 2007

The way the clubs system works

This is clearly a very brief account of how the drugs system works within clubs and it mainly operates in the larger cities and clubs that specialise in a particular kind of music. Okay so whether you’re dealing or just using for personal, if a bouncer finds them on you (through bag, pocket searches etc.) they will confiscate them but probably allow you into the club. Whereas if you are without there is a rather strong possibility that they’ll try to sell you some, in fact that’ll try to sell you the drugs that they just confiscated from the person in front of you. This actually happened to my friend at one of London’s most famous clubs. The drug prices in clubs is extortionate the average price for a pill is £5:00 whereas on the street you could pick them up for £1:50 to £3:00 and this is because the dealers can as they risk fifteen years imprisonment if they get caught and you will buy them in a moment of desperation. Generally the owner of the club will want its clubbers to be on drugs as it’ll mean they buy more drinks and generally have a better night. Therefore there are often dealers within a clubs who are employed by the owners to sell. So there in a nutshell is how the drugs system works.

21 March 2007

For my friend

I am rewriting this for a friend whose father died of a heroine overdose, she’s told me in depth the story and said she finds it hard to put into words and therefore I am writing it for her as accurately as I can. I hope I do you justice sweetheart…

There’s this moment, this moment that to me is froze and fragmented in time. I carry it with me always, even when I pretend that it’s buried within the deepest section of my core, it still haunts me. It writhes within me and I’m aware that it always will. My Father was a heroine addict, he dedicated fifteen years of his life to a drug, and he dedicated fifteen years of it to neglecting me.
I refer not only to his addiction in the past tense but to him. My Father died last year of an overdose. Upon reflection and ironically it’s probably how he would have wanted to go. For obvious reasons my Mother barely let my brother and I see him and therefore his death hit me in a most unexpected manner and for want of a better expression, it broke my heart. I found him, cold, dead and with the needle still in him. The thing about addicts is people lose sight of the good in them and stop caring about them and I lost sight of my Dad.

He’d been dead for two weeks when I let myself into his flat, I used to take him food because he never ate, not that he had a craving for food, it didn’t quite quench that unstoppable thirst, that only heroine could. My Dad had long since destroyed the veins in his arm, as is often the case with users and he relied on the haggard veins in the soles of his feet. I cannot in any way describe or illuminate to another human being how destructive a scene like that is, it eats at all your happy thoughts and replaces the hope and light in your life.

When I actually manage to sleep my heads riddled with nightmares and I am forever carrying round a pendant of guilt which rests on my heart. My father died alone in a flat that stank of his own faeces that wasn’t fit for a person even as low as him and he died alone. People don’t think about what drugs can do, they try them due to peer pressure, curiosity or just because they are searching for something to fill a void but they are dangerous and can pull everything apart. Heroine will always destroy, it can in no way mend, fulfil or cure, this is a drug that cannot be taken without consequences, please bare this in mind.

My imaginery struggle with drugs

Guess what? My lecturer asked my friend today if I did drugs, isn’t that a lovely thought? (That was a rhetorical question, if you hadn’t already grasped) This is such an easy assumption for someone to make. I struggle with work and am finding university especially hard, but no instead of offering help, a person merely assumes I’m shooting up in the toilets. That is clearly an over exaggeration, I’m on crack not heroine, ha-ha I’m joking of course even if I do apparently conjure this image of myself in peoples minds.

I’ve had someone state this, very wrongly I might add before. My maths teacher reported me to my tutor, claiming I either suffered from a mental illness or was on skag, my tutor replied in a rather undignified manner by which I mean she told her to fuck off. Therefore I have decided to post this blog as a way to remind people why I feel the need to depict drug experiences to the public. I have several friends who inspired me to start this blog that have been unable to find other peoples drug experiences on the web. They were searching for them as to find a basis to decide whether they want to use such drugs or not, hence I have tried to illustrate both sides of the coin as to further aid decision making. This topic might not be of interest to everyone and may be frowned upon but this blog isn’t for those people. It’s for teenagers who are feeling pressured to do drugs or just want to try them and want to find out from people their own age who occasionally dabble in drugs what it really is like.

Just for the record I’m not on drugs, I’m just a little scatty and get fed up of being made to feel stupid because I’m not a computer weirdo. I come from a little village and we only got Broadband last year, so yeah I’ve got to go I need to go cook up some heroine, I’m due a fix. That was another little joke, just thought I’d clarify that as I don’t want anyone getting confused.

20 March 2007

Drugs and Death

I’m interviewing a friend of a friend about the tragic death of her cousin. The air that separates us is full of that kind of tension that makes you want to fall into an invisible hole and I am aware that this topic is one that is seldom broached upon. In 2004 this girl, who wishes to remain un-named lost her cousin to a death that only drugs hold responsibility for.

The man, whose name wasn’t disclosed, had a prosperous future ahead of him that literally evaporated. He was 24, engaged to a beautiful woman and studying mechanical engineering at a university in Hong Kong. However as is often the case with those that are easily influenced and young, he, as the old cliché goes got in with the wrong crowd.

He started taking drugs, at first it was just ecstasy pills, then he branched out to Cocaine and Crack till eventually he got mixed up in the harrowing world of Heroine. He formed a secret life, one that his family were shielded from and one that was wrapped up in a cloth of substances, users and dealers, a life that was inescapable. He borrowed money off his Granddad claiming it was for machinery and maintaining the elaborate lifestyle that his Grandfather had spoilt him with.

The more drugs he did the more disconnected he became from his old life and soon he dropped out of university. These steps led to a path of drug dealing and an over use, resulting in a high level of dependency. When his parents found out of his situation, due to it being impossible for him to hide, they prevented his Granddad from giving him any more money so as to encourage him to get clean.

Heroine is an incredibly dangerous drug, it engulfs your life and paralyses all that is bad and all that is good. It becomes your one and only fixation, your one and only hope, it destroys you as it controls you. This is what happened to her cousin, he couldn’t get clean so he turned to the gangs of china, notorius for their ruthlessness. He borrowed money off these gangs to pay for his habit and he accepted drugs he had no means of paying for. If you can’t pay these gangs with money you pay them with your blood and this is what he did.

On November the third, he and his girlfriend drove to meet some friends; he was heavily under the influence of narcotics. They never made it to meet them. A car smashed into the side of their vehicle instantly killing him, no one else was touched. The accident was written off as being highly suspicious but was coincidently never investigated. It later emerged that the driver of the other car was strongly integrated with the Chinese drug gangs that the man had been borrowing money off.

One of the main aspects of drug abuse and one that is often neglected is the fact that a user has a family, friends and people who generally care about them. In this case the father of the man was driven insane with a need to seek revenge. He sought out the man who caused the accident and tried to murder him. He is still touched only by the need to avenge his son’s death and he, like his son has become unrecognisable due to drugs. If you feel you have an addiction or someone close to you does, click on the websites within this blog and you can get access to help.

Drugs don't work

It is my particular belief that the occasional use of drugs does little to no harm. However it really is dependant on the kind of person that indulges in them, whether you use or abuse drugs, there is a rather prominent line and you need to know where it starts.
I have several friends who smoke so much weed that the word paranoid really does not shed light upon their mental state. I believe that cannabis should be legalised but i also believe after witnessing some of my beloved friend's boyfriends that drugs can and do, do damage. My lovely friend goes through daily interrogation and general hardship because her boyfriend is reliant on a herb. A strong link has been proved between the use of Cannabis and Schizophrenia, whereby people, especially young men who use a heavy amount of Cannabis over a long period of time can induce Psychosis. This is made highly apparent with certain people and i forever worry that one day his paranoia will get the better of him and he'll hurt my friend.
The use of drugs is a dangerous game and it should be played with causion.

16 March 2007

Police raid seven cannabis farms

The seven "factories" produced hundreds of individual plantsCannabis plants with an estimated street value of £630,000 have been seized across Strathclyde.
More than 2,000 plants were recovered from high value houses in Airdrie, Robroyston, Cambuslang, Clydebank, Battlefield and Budhill, in Glasgow.
Strathclyde Police said seven cannabis cultivations were discovered as a direct response to appeals last month.
Officers urged the public to continue to be on the look out for suspicious activity and the smell of cannabis.
Windows are permanently covered from the inside
Visits occur at unusual times of the day or night
People often do not live in the premises and only visit
Cannabis or used fertiliser will be removed in bin bags or laundry bags
Compost bags or gardening equipment may be left outside
There may be a pungent smell

Det Ch Supt Stephen Whitelock, director of intelligence for Strathclyde Police, said: "Seven cultivations identified in a three week period indicates the level of concern by law abiding members of our communities."

He said cannabis growth was not a victimless crime and there was a high risk of fire to nearby homes.
"We have established factories in many areas throughout the force area, usually in high value houses in residential areas, sometimes newly built homes," he added.
"The criminals who engage in this type of crime will rent properties in any area and it is our aim to disrupt and dismantle them."
The finds came as part of the force's Operation League, which is aimed at targeting those involved in production.

Information obtained from the BBC NEWS website.
The last time i dropped ecstasy i tripped like i'd never tripped before, it was interesting, shall we say. It was actually pretty amazing but it does scare me slightly that my brain is seeing and hearing things that aern't really there. Every person i saw i thought was dressed up as zombie, i knew they wern't real but i kept saying to my friends: "Look at those monsters." The people dancing on the stage were the worst, every time the lights flashed on them all i could see were monsters. I saw one man and i thought he had seaweed and slime dangling where his arms should be.
I don't mind seeing things but hearing things upsets me a little. My friend and i were talking to this girl, she was asking me for chewing gum but all i could hear her saying was 'smiley faces' and i kept telling her i had none. It was so trippy, my friend had to tell me what she was saying, it was okay though the girl was also on pills so she got it.

An anonymous drugs experience 5

When i closed my eyes earlier i saw Elvis (a young one i might add) limboing under a swirling circle of cakes in a plush field. This was whilst a ring of rainbow children held hands and sung. 'Bye bye miss American pie' was playing in the background, i havent been doing drugs long and i wasn't on drugs when i visualised this. It just popped into my head, i sometimes wonder if i was always a tad mentally disturbed or if its the drugs warping my brain. Oh well.

The way you see everything on drugs, can be beautiful but can be terrifying.